We finished two weeks of school, and I have to tell you that so far things haven’t been too rosy or peachy keen. In fact, it’s been downright hard and frustrating. How hard? Well, I did something I haven’t done ever in our last 7 years of homeschooling. I threatened to send the kids to school– on our 3rd day! And then, I actually looked up online to see how much it would cost. $40,000/ year brought me back to reality.
I realized something this weekend, though. I am back in survival mode. I’ve been this way for a number of months after every single one of our babies was born. Why did I forget it this time? Did I think it would be different because I’ve done this so many times before or because I’m older and more experienced?
Well, I am fully seeing the truth now. My expectations are WAY too high. I’m exhausted from getting so little sleep at night. I am nursing a baby every couple of hours all day and night. I’m homeschooling 5 kids now, along with a preschooler, crazy 2-year-old who gets into everything, and a newborn. School isn’t easy either– teaching two kids to read and difficult math with two others.
So, I just need to relax, rest more, lower my expectations, and do what I can do without feeling bad/guilty about what I can’t get to.
We have a number of new outside activities this year that are stressing me out, but I’m going to lower my expectations about those, too, and try to have fun with it all!
My house, cooking, projects, well, none of it is going to reach my goals for a while.
I’m grateful to the Lord for giving me an encouraging conversation with a new lady I met at the park this evening. He loves me and will sustain me through this season of survival mode. I will lean on Him and trust Him.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.