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Be the Mom and for details on tonight’s Facebook Party with the author!
Q and A with Tracey Eyster, author of Be the Mom
In your own journey as a mother, what led you to identify and subsequently conquer the seven “Mom Traps” that you address in Be the Mom?
I started writing this book for my daughter, to give to her some day when she becomes a mom. As I contemplated my young daughter becoming a mother I knew that she would face times of weariness and doubt in her ability to be a mom and I wanted to encourage her that yes, it’s hard, but it’s worth it. I didn’t want her to listen to the world’s message that motherhood was a diversion from what she was “really” meant to do in life. I wanted her to understand the importance of being a mom and appreciate God’s intention that we are to mold our children to be image bearers for God and in the process He would mold us! I live these mom traps and I have learned how to allow the Lord to help me have victory over them – most days! Knowledge is power, if you can name your bad attitude you have a better chance of overcoming it!
As a young mom, you sometimes felt insignificant because you were “only” a stay-at-home mom. How did you regain your sense of individual significance?
I chose to understand the truth of how important it is to be a mom and to appreciate that motherhood is a series of “seasons” – each being very important. Younger children are very demanding, but it’s just a season. I approached each season of motherhood with the same determination and desire for excellence that I had when I had a great career. I started to really study the word of God and gained a daily abiding relationship with God. He filled the holes and soothed me on the rough days. He also revealed to me my rough edges that needed sanding! God’s truths began to reveal that motherhood many times is way more about growing mom than growing the kids. I also learned not to take myself too seriously! I realized the need to be light hearted and a bit silly, and that daily joy is a choice! When I recognized that my children were watching and I was teaching them how to “do life,” I realized more than just me was at stake! Life is a series of small choices. Those choices mold us, and because we are moms, they mold our children!
Can you explain the sense of self-pity (“Martyr Mom” trap) that moms sometimes adopt? What are some of the daily practices that can help mothers break out of this trap?
Oh my! The Martyr Mom trap is particularly ugly and hard to admit to for that very reason! I can fall into that trap so easily. We do what needs to get done, but grumble about it and wear our “poor pitiful me” countenance on our sleeve or have a bad attitude, scowl or take on an all-around pit-i-ful appearance. We get it done, but are miserable while doing it and at times make everyone else miserable in the process. Sort of that “walk on eggshells” around mom…she’s a bit touchy again today! To get out of this trap you first have to admit your bad attitude and choose to seek a better attitude. Recognize that God calls us to do all that we do as if doing it for the Lord! This trap is so complicated – I think you just need to read the chapter!
What is the key to contentment when moms are tempted to compare themselves to other “picture-perfect” moms who seem to have it all together?
Comparison is the thief of joy, so the fastest way to tank your attitude is to compare yourself to others. Especially when you are comparing your every day, or your worst, to their best. All around us we see what seems to be the ideal, and even on our own blogs we have a tendency to just write about the good stuff! If you want to make a mom’s day, the next time you have a rotten day – write about that! A good dose of mom reality in your life, shared in all its un-lovely glory will be a big giant hug to that overwhelmed mom sitting in front of her computer screen! Be always mindful to point her to where you find your hope and how you are able to live in joy in spite of your circumstances! If you are fully focused on God and who He says you are, then you are less likely to compare yourself to others. And 1 Peter 3:3-4 reminds us it is our inner beauty which is of great worth to God.
Scarlett O’Hara says that “After all, tomorrow is another day.” How can putting things off have a negative effect on parenting?
Oh my…if there is anything I wish I could imprint on your brain it is that tomorrow will get here far sooner than you realize. Honestly moms, whatever it is that you feel like being a mom is “keeping” you from – it will still be there when your children are no longer in your home constantly. Already you can look at your child and think, “My goodness, how can he be almost two!” Or, “I cannot believe she is starting Kindergarten this year!” Those years will continue to tick by. Don’t think you can put off until tomorrow the mothering God intends for you to do today! In actuality you could spend less than 25% of your life parenting and what you gain during that time is invaluable in training you! Enter into your children’s world, play with them, laugh with them, teach them, be silly, teach deep truths, enjoy every MOMent their future, and yours, is at stake. God has such a divine purpose in parenting, don’t miss it by waiting until tomorrow – tomorrow may never come. With daily parenting you need to be intentional, relational and selfless – so much is at stake!
I hope reading these things from Tracey was encouraging to you. The book is more so! Leave a comment below–one of you will win a copy!
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