It was never my intention, but I feel I have misled some of you who read my blog. You see our happy, smiling faces (such as at the zoo on the previous post) and see the name of my blog “I Choose Joy” and may think that we are one big, happy, smiling, choosing-joy family all the time. Well, today is a time for a little truth-telling.
I pick and choose carefully what I post here–it isn’t representative of our whole life. And I named my blog as I did because I needed to remind myself to do it! There have even been times that I have even been so convicted by the name of my blog that I couldn’t even post anything because I felt like such a hypocrite. If you don’t believe me, you can look back through the last 6 years for the days, weeks, and even months where there were no posts at all or the ones that were posted had no personal feel to them. You can be sure that during those times I was overwhelmed, depressed, extremely sleep-deprived, ill, or struggling in some other way–maybe even in my relationship with God and whether I could trust Him.
I truly desire to follow the Lord and be in His will because I know that the center of His will is the only place I can really be safe, happy, and at peace. But, even though I love my children with all my heart doesn’t mean having eight children is easy. And even though I love homeschooling, doesn’t mean I’ve enjoyed teaching 2 kids to read and 2 others long division this year! It’s hard work! I so want to be alone sometimes, or to get away on a trip with my husband, or to have my house really clean or cutely decorated. But that’s not my life right now.
OK, there is one area you may be jealous of. 🙂 I am married to my best friend, a man who adores me and whom I respect with my everything I am. I am so grateful to the Lord that I have a wonderful and fulfilling marriage!
But, please remember I’m a person just like you! Don’t put me on a pedestal. And if you’d like to, I’d definitely appreciate your prayers!