Can you handle the truth?
It was never my intention, but I feel I have misled some of you who read my blog. You see our happy, smiling faces (such as at the zoo on the previous post) and see the name of my blog “I Choose Joy” and may think that we are one big, happy, smiling, choosing-joy family all the time. Well, today is a time for a little truth-telling.
I pick and choose carefully what I post here–it isn’t representative of our whole life. And I named my blog as I did because I needed to remind myself to do it! There have even been times that I have even been so convicted by the name of my blog that I couldn’t even post anything because I felt like such a hypocrite. If you don’t believe me, you can look back through the last 6 years for the days, weeks, and even months where there were no posts at all or the ones that were posted had no personal feel to them. You can be sure that during those times I was overwhelmed, depressed, extremely sleep-deprived, ill, or struggling in some other way–maybe even in my relationship with God and whether I could trust Him.
I truly desire to follow the Lord and be in His will because I know that the center of His will is the only place I can really be safe, happy, and at peace. But, even though I love my children with all my heart doesn’t mean having eight children is easy. And even though I love homeschooling, doesn’t mean I’ve enjoyed teaching 2 kids to read and 2 others long division this year! It’s hard work! I so want to be alone sometimes, or to get away on a trip with my husband, or to have my house really clean or cutely decorated. But that’s not my life right now.
OK, there is one area you may be jealous of. 🙂 I am married to my best friend, a man who adores me and whom I respect with my everything I am. I am so grateful to the Lord that I have a wonderful and fulfilling marriage!
But, please remember I’m a person just like you! Don’t put me on a pedestal. And if you’d like to, I’d definitely appreciate your prayers!
Gena,
Today’s post took a lot of courage on your part and you should know that it was very helpful to me. I am the mother of 5 children (a 6 year old, 5 year old triplets, and a 3 year old). I have just started homeschooling, and I have moments of wondering if I can handle it. That said, I know it is the very best choice. Blogs such as yours give me encouragement. You are amazing to accomplish all that you do. Be proud of yourself!!
You know, I often hear from others how patient I am and I have to tell you sometimes I feel anything but patient. This is something you refered to in your “More than I can handle” post. Is anyone truly patient anyway? I think I used to be more patient…that is, I started out very patient. I think woman like you and I have to start out that way; that is why God chose us (and our husbands of course). I think happiness, like God, is ever present. Happiness is always there, it just gets over-shadowed by other things sometimes. The sun always shines again. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You and I know we wouldn’t trade our kids for anything in the world, but who doesn’t deserve or need a little break every now and then.
In the midst of all your “Joy”, may you find a moment of peace today to reenergize…
Thank you for today’s post.